Why NOT To Do a Blog

For three years, the thought of doing a blog has plagued me.  Though it has gone through several cycles of me being strongly versus less aware of it, I have to admit it has been at the back of my mind pretty consistently for quite some time.

And then, just before my son’s second birthday, I got super sick.  I felt even crappier than when I had pneumonia several years ago.  After 12 days of pure yucky-ness, I have to admit I was feeling pretty darn sorry for myself.  Bedridden with fever and having a challenging time breathing, I found myself both physically and emotionally raw.

It was then that I found myself unable to run from a bunch of my “issues,” including the blog thought, any more.

So I wrote out my List of Reasons Why I Should NOT Do a Blog.  Here is what I wrote that day:

  • First of all, the chances that I will actually be consistent in any fashion is so unlikely that it’s comical…
  • Also, what would I say?
  • Also, it’s not like anyone will actually READ it.
  • And… what if they did??? It’s nobody’s business what’s going on in my mind or soul or life anyway. (Except there IS the teeniest part of me that longs so much for connection and to hear “me too” on the other side.)
  • Furthermore, I hate the black-hole/constant-chatter-of-the-internet and why would I want to be a part of that?  I have less than zero desire to be on Facebook or Instagram or Twitter or all that crap.  Seriously.  And it seems like most bloggers— let’s be honest, most other humans I know of— have at least some connection to that part of the web.  And the thought of joining that bandwagon makes me nauseous.
  • In addition, if I did it…  What if Iaccidentally  started doing something stupid, like using it as a platform to puff up my not-needing-to-be-puffed-up pride? And what if I accidentally posted something without fully thinking it through… and then what if my insensitivity made someone else feel like a shitty person?  That would be horrible! (I’ve felt like that too many times to ever wish that feeling on anyone else!)
  • And also, what if I felt the need to start purging my soul of some of my friend drama, or airing my marriage’s dirty laundry, or barfing about my childhood woes or the areas in which my parents dropped the ball… and what if other people (ie the people I’m venting about) actually read it????   Oh, dear God.
  • And what if it wounded them?  Ugh.
  • Or what if I wrote in a PMS rant and ruined the lives and souls of the whole entire world????
  • Or what if I actually did it and for some crazy reason it became a good thing (therapeutically) for both myself and for other people in the world? (i.e. What if it genuinely ministered to and blessed people)… but then what if it started consuming my mind or my time or my life in a “too much others, not enough focus on my family” kind of way… Then it would all be for naught!  Because, like Ann Voskamp said in her Newsmakers Interview, at the end of the day it is my own, my children’s, and my husband’s souls that really matter in my life… right? (And… I know there are other people who have the ability to tend to their own, their family’s, and the world around them’s souls… but is it possible for ME to maintain that balance?)
  • But most of all… the biggest baddest and most obvious reason why I shouldn’t get involved with a blog or any sort of sharing myself on paper in public is: the thought of it absolutely terrifies me.

Darn it.

Wham-o.

Gulp… Oh, dear.  I am just now realizing that I am now at a point where the thought of running away from it any longer seems rather ridiculous.  I know it’s God.  I’ve known it has been Him nudging me this way for a long while now.  I know He will use it somehow—even if it’s just as a therapy tool for only me.

Ay ay ay.  Okay, here we go.

IMG_2617

“Do one thing every day that scares you.”

~Eleanor Roosevelt

 * * *

What about you?

What was one of the times in your life wherein you really needed to “get your brave on”?

Please feel free to email me or share your thoughts and experiences to the comment section below.