Five Minute Friday:: SAME

It’s Five Minute Friday time again.  Five minutes flat of writing on the one-word prompt provided over at Kate’s site.  Just my unedited thoughts.

This week’s prompt:

SAME

 

I don’t want to stay the same.  I want to keep growing, keep learning, keep becoming more of who God intended me to be when He created me.

It’s almost my birthday.  Thirty-seven.  I don’t know… I think that’s kind of awesome.

I’m so glad that I’m not the same person I was when I turned 33— that was a rough year, filled with Depression and pain medication and facing wounds I had stuffed down deep for decades.  I’m glad I’m through a lot of that drama.

And I’m really glad I’m not the same person I was when I turned 27.  Two small babies, more sleep-deprived and patience-tested than I had ever been… and fearful of what life held for my family as my husband began a career in law enforcement.

I’m even glad I’m not the same as I was in my youth.  While parts of that era were awesome— no real worries, no big responsibilities… I was free to be as selfish and self-absorbed and naïve as my little heart wanted to be.  But… I was selfish.  And self-absorbed.  And while the naiveté was awesome while it lasted, it sure was rough going there when that bubble burst and my eyes became open to hurts and betrayals and dark secrets that I never knew existed in the human race— let alone in my very own family.

And let’s take a look-see at one year ago: who was I then?

Oh, wow.  I just glanced back at what I journaled last year at this time.  And gosh… I am glad I’m not there still.

One year ago, I was in deep inner turmoil regarding a conflict I was having with a dear friend of mine.  Plus, I was mourning the loss of my sweet grandma who had just passed away in front of me.  And I was aching.  Just. Aching.  For true comfort and community and healing.

Thank You, Lord, for all You’ve spoken to me and taught me and shown me over the past 365 days.  Thank You for the tender words You spoke to me in my journal entry on September 13th last year— You spoke life and affirmation and encouragement and deep, deep love to me that day.  Thank You, Lord.  

Amen.

 

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What about you?

What spills out of you when you hear the word “same”?

Please feel free to share your comments or your own Five Minute Friday in the comment section below.

 

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4 Comments

  1. Hey FMF neighbor! It’s amazing how much we can grow in a year. I was just talking about this with a mentor friend the other day. Looking back makes me thankful that I can see God’s faithfulness too. 🙂

    • Thank you for stopping by and encouraging me, Laura! I appreciate it!

  2. Thanks so much for reflecting and sharing this. Thanks for reminding me how important it can be to look back to realize indeed we are going somewhere, Forward. That we are indeed not the same… and thanks for this: “While parts of that era were awesome— no real worries, no big responsibilities… I was free to be as selfish and self-absorbed and naïve as my little heart wanted to be. But… I was selfish. And self-absorbed…”
    That put a smile on my face….so relate. God used little ones (I have four now, from 6yrs to 4 months) to totally break/open the eyes of my selfish, self-absorbed heart. But we keep going,we keep learning, as you said–thanks!!!

    • Ah, yes! There’s was nothing like Motherhood to open my eyes to how selfish I truly was! And I continue to get that memo on a far-too-regular basis! Argh.

      Thank you for stopping by!

      And thank you for doing your best to raise four little munchkins to help this world be a better place! Bless you. Rest up, warrior! 🙂

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