31 Days:: Cutting Myself Some Slack
Day 14: Cutting Myself Some Slack
A wise friend once told me “God knows you are just a human with limited knowledge and ability. He “gets” that you don’t have everything figured out and that you will still do and say insecure things— and He is okay with that. He understands that you are just a flawed human doing your best. So cut yourself some slack!”
This has been a rough couple of days. I‘ve fumbled when I’ve longed to run free like a gazelle. I’ve acted out of insecurity when, truly, the desire of my heart is to be a bold, confident, purely Spirit-led woman. I’ve faltered and hidden when I would have preferred to have been honest and vulnerable and brave. I’ve reached out in neediness and desperation when I wish I could be “the strong one,” the “inspiring one.”
I guess what I’m saying is: I’ve been human. And it has frustrated me. Sometimes I wish I was all spirit, rather than this hybrid between spirit and flesh. Sometimes I get disappointed in myself for not being all-knowing and perfectly discerning and always wise. If I don’t watch myself, I can really get down on myself for my imperfections and simple human mistakes.
It’s no bueno.
But yesterday I handled my self-deprecation in a better way: I felt myself spiraling down into anxiety and self-loathing. I heard the words “You idiot” and “You should have known better” swirling around in my head, trying to bog me down and ruin the rest of my day. So, as usual, I reached up to God for help and truth… but also: I reached out to a few trusted friends and asked for prayer. I admitted my humanity and asked for encouragement and intercession. And I reviewed some notes I took after a particularly meaningful conversation I had with one particular friend a few months back. I reread her words of encouragement and found hope there.
Her simple reminder that God understands and doesn’t wag His shaming finger at me when I am insecure or ignorant or imperfect was exactly the truth I needed yesterday.
Thank you, friend.
And thank You, God, for wise friends who are at least a step or two ahead of me on certain matters. I am so grateful for how You weave Yourself into this beautiful community I have around me. Thank You for speaking to me through them. Amen.
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What about you?
Do you ever get bogged down by your humanity? How do you handle it?
Please feel free to share your journey in the comment section below.