I love it when I find a friend who is okay with the fact that I am a mess. I love it when I can, without fear, go for a walk with a friend and verbally process something tough— and know that she isn’t going to hold my ramblings against me in the future. I love it when I can be honest with a friend and simply say “You know what? I just don’t want to” and she “gets” it and isn’t offended by it. I love it when a friend understands and doesn’t stand in judgment of me because I need to bail on our previously-arranged walk because I woke up and realized I just need to be alone this morning— no offense intended, none taken.
I’ve got a crew of these precious, comfy friends in my life. There are only a handful of them and, unfortunately, many of them don’t live super near me… but they are my safe people, my trusted confidants, my go-to wise friends who I know will hold my heart with kindness, respect, tenderness, and love.
I became close friends with Lisa just after my miscarriage six years ago. Although we had lived across the street from each other for a few years before that, my season of pain and desperation brought me to a place of awareness and openness that bonded our two hearts together in a way that made me feel so precious and seen by God that I still stand amazed and grateful every time I have the chance to spend some time with that incredible girl. She is my hiking buddy, my “want to go for a walk in 10 minutes?” friend, and my let’s-just-sit-around-and-do-nothing kind of companion. I can call her and ask to stop and use her toilet if I’m in a bind. I can invite her over for dinner and then text her ten minutes later and ask her to please bring the main course because oops I just realized I have nothing but salad and water to offer. I can ask her to pray with me when I’m riddled with fear or insecurity. I can watch her kids while she is on a girl-date with my 10-year-old. Our families can vacation together in peace. And I always know my dog Titan will have a loving family to hang out with whenever we have to leave town without him. Lisa is without a doubt the most common comfy place I land. Her entry into my life has been soul-reviving in countless ways.
Christy and I met back when I was in college. She and her new husband volunteered as leaders in our church’s college group and she immediately became like a big sister to me. Her vibrant personality, wise-beyond-her-years depth and discernment, giftedness for teaching, and her and her husband’s courage to be raw and honest about their real life challenges and victories was simply magnetic. I adored her from day one and she has been both a mentor and close friend to me ever since. She inspires me and teaches me much by the way she lives her life and by the heartfelt words she preaches and writes on a regular basis. Her hugs are long, tight, and love-filled. She has a magical laugh.
Sarah is another friend I met during my first year of college. The day I met her, I had just heard some of the most devastating news of my life. In tearful desperation and deep sadness, I walked into the church building in hopes of finding someone to pray with. Enter: Sweet Sarah. I remember sitting on a chair in a side room, raccoon-eyed and sobbing, when a beautiful blonde quietly walked in and introduced herself as my new college pastor’s fiancé Sarah. After telling her the gist of what was going on, we prayed together, talked about life, and have been comfortable confidants ever since. I’ve seen this girl barf on the side of a moving van as we drove on the freeway after eating some bad fish. I’ve held her babies, the first of whom introduced me to what a “diaper blowout” is. She and her husband did premarital counseling with me and mine. She taught me how to make homemade pizza dough to perfection. We have each sought each other’s counsel and comfort when we were going through unspeakably challenging seasons. No matter how long it’s been since I last saw Sarah, we don’t skip a beat— as soon as we get together again, we start chattering as if we just saw each other last Tuesday.
And Alyson: I met Alyson on our first day of Half Marathon Training at our old gym. Our trainers told us to find a friend to lean on while we were stretching our quads and I immediately sought out Alyson— I knew from the first moment we locked eyes that her gentle soul was good medicine for me. We held each other’s shoulders as we stretched our thighs and I literally asked her if she wanted to be my friend. It is because of Alyson that my kids go to the cute country school they go to and, inadvertently, it is because of her that I and my family ended up moving to the cute, country town we now live in— smack dab next to horses and wide open space and everything! Imagine that! Al and I have sweated together, cried together, sewed blankets together, and watched our kids grow up together. She is also the one I turned to a month ago when I needed a last-minute place to dump my kids off so my hubby and I could go help some friends who were experiencing a crisis. In countless ways, Alyson is a gift.
Last up for today is Angela. Angela reached out to me one day this past spring after, in our Bible Study group, I asked for prayer for a specific challenge I was facing. Because she could relate to my situation, we immediately bonded in a special way. The camaraderie that has been built based on our mutual understanding has become a precious, life-changing gift. And on top of that, Angela is awesome in so many of the ways I’m not. She’s great at staying in touch with people, super stylish, and even knows how to (with joy!?!) organize events and parties. She is one of the most giving, others-focused women I have ever met. She is one of those friends who, as soon as you meet her, you “just know” that the two of you are going to get along well. She’s funny and beautiful and her newfound faith in God is absolutely delightful to be around.
These are five of my comfiest of comfy friends. My safe people. Tomorrow I am going to tell you about a few more of my amazing friends. All of these women I am introducing you to are the ones I call when I want someone to rejoice with me or when I’m needing comfort or a place to vent or someone to just be ridiculous with. These are the women who I hope to still go on walks with, sip tea with, and eat guacamole with when we are all old, toothless ladies who can hardly make it to the toilet in time. If there is anything awesome about me, I likely learned it or caught it from one of them. And all these flaws I’ve got? Don’t worry— my “team” is helping me see and improve on those, too.
I pray that you, too, have found some comfy friends with whom you can just be you. Please come back tomorrow to learn about a few more incredible women worth getting to know.
* * *
What about you?
Can you please tell me about one or two of your comfy friends and what makes them so special?
Please share your journey in the comment section below.