I Used To Think… But Now I Think…
(Inspired by SarahBessey.com today!)
When I first read Sarah Bessey’s synchroblog prompt inviting folks to respond to “I used to think ____ but now I think _____” my first thought was “Where do I begin?!?!”
Throughout my adulthood, and especially within the last five years, I feel like I have changed so much that I almost don’t recognize myself. How do I take a prompt like that and narrow it down to one tight-knit blog post that demonstrates all God has taught me over the past handful of years?
Answer: I can’t. It’s simply not possibly to succinctly and thoroughly get across all the ways my thoughts, habits, and theology have changed in the past several years.
For example, it would take pages and pages for me to thoroughly explain how I got from Point A to Point B in regards to my view on women’s value as humans. I used to think God favored His sons more than His daughters, but now I think that is a poisonous lie I was fed through various different means.
It would also take much more than a simple blog post for me to completely hash out how I used to think my role as a wife meant I was supposed to “adapt myself to my husband’s ways” but now I think that my hubby and I are both supposed to continuously stoop down and lift one another up— to encourage and support each other’s dreams and giftings and passions.
Or how could I concisely describe how I used to think that it was my duty as a Christian to give give give and do do do, but now I think it’s more important for me to slow myself down and tune into God and allow myself time to figure out who I am and what my giftings are so that I can more strategically use my time to it’s fullest potential.
I used to think it was an insult to be called “heavenly minded,” but now I think that is a high compliment that could only possibly be a testimony to the fact that God has totally transformed my life and helped me to step out in courage and bravely focus on the “one thing [that] is [truly] necessary” (Luke 10:42).
I used to think I was worthless and unloveable, but now I believe God loves me no matter what— even if I am physically, emotionally, or mentally incapable of giving anything back in return.
I used to think pizza was one of the most fabulous foods on the planet, but now I realize that although my tastebuds love pizza, the rest of my body acts a bit whacky after I have a bunch of dairy.
I used to think I was losing my mind and destined to always be a slave to my moods and hormones, but now I think there is both hope and freedom for me in this area of my life.
I used to think good, trustworthy friends were hard to find, but now I think they are much more common than I realized.
I used to think I would never get the baby-gift my heart ached for, but now I think miracles happen and God surprises His kids in all sorts of ways we never expected.
I used to think I’d eventually “figure out” my kids, but now I think that both they and I are ever-changing, ever-evolving and I will never be able to wrap them up into predictable little boxes.
I used to think my husband had a bunch of issues he needed to deal with, but now I think that I might be the one with more baggage needing attention and transformation.
I used to think I was an extrovert, but now I think that I may very well just be “an introvert that adores being with and loving on people.”
I used to think I didn’t have any cultural biases regarding what a Christian was “supposed” to be and look like, but now I see how biased I really was.
I have changed. I am continuing to change. I have grown. I am continuing to grow. I have been wrong before. I will continue to discover areas in which I am mistaken, misguided, and “off.” But I promise this: I am desperately in search of truth, willing and ready to keep learning, and I am open to change.
I appreciate all of you who have continued to stick with me and love on me through it all. Mmmmwuah!
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What about you?
In what ways have you changed or grown in the past handful of years? What happened to change your mind?
Please share your journey in the comment section below.