Preaching to Myself: Recalling Lessons Learned
I preach to myself a lot. That’s one of the reasons I love writing: I can look back on what I’ve already written about what God has taught me— and I can remind myself what my heart has, at least at one point in time, already learned.
I’ve been having to do that a lot lately.
I’ve needed to remind myself that there is hope for me even when I feel like a complete and utter hormonal mess. I’ve had to look back and remind myself that this season of life and motherhood I’m in— and how it sometimes feels so totally overwhelming and debilitating and stifling even though I know that I know that I know it is a high and holy calling— is just that: a season. And soon these days of crumpled up toddler flower-gifts and wiping bottoms and even the days of hormonal preteen girls… this will all be over someday.
I’ve also needed to remind myself of the importance of gratitude— and how it has the miraculous ability to kick start me out of my Depression funks.
And, especially as the holiday season ramps up and the busy-ness and greed of our culture presses in on me… I find myself having to remind myself that “only one thing is necessary, Kristi”… just one thing.
And the last reminder I’ve found myself having to coach myself through lately: it is imperative that I cut myself some freakin’ slack and extend grace to myself when I have once again proved to be imperfect.
You’d think I’d have these lessons down pat by now with the sheer number of times I’ve had to learn each lesson. And yet— here I am again. Scolding myself for being flawed, refusing to set aside time to sneak away and listen to my Jesus speak Truth to my heart, moaning and groaning in the midst of the hormonally charged, sometimes gloriously mundane days of motherhood, forgetting to pause and notice the plethora of things and people I have to be grateful for.
In times like these I go back and read what God has already told me. I look in the Bible and seek out both new and familiar truths, and I look back on my own written words that often testify to what God is teaching me. And I pray and ask God to once again reach into my messy, gorgeous life and my scattered, desperate brain and I ask Him to give me grace once again. To give me peace and hope and truth and healing once again.
On this Thanksgiving Day, I thank God so much for all He’s taught me thus far, and for all He is continuing to teach me each day regarding how very much He loves and treasures me despite my flaws and failures.
Thank You, Lord, for being ever-ready to commune with me and to whisper tender truth to me. No words can ever express to You how very grateful I am for the ways in which You have healed me and grown me and comforted me and provided for me every single day of my life. What a good, good Father and Friend You are, Lord. Please continue your gracious ways to me. And please bless and speak to all my loved ones in a very special way today— may they each know beyond a shadow of a doubt how very much You adore them and want what is best for their lives.
I love You, Jesus. Amen.
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What about you?
What lessons do you find yourself having to revisit time and time again? Do you have to remind yourself what you already know? What methods work best for you?
Please feel free to share your comments or your own journey in the comment section below.