Held Through It All
Held Through It All
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~ Psalm 73:23 ~
Nevertheless I am continually with You; You have taken hold of my right hand.
I’m going through an especially stretching, soul-searching season right now. My husband and I are having some really tough-but-necessary conversations regarding our future (geographically, career-wise, etc.) and, despite how much I don’t feel wired for it, and despite how risky it feels, God has been consistently challenging me to dream bigger— or perhaps just differently— about my future and how He might want to use me in the world.
Some big time changes for our family may or may not be coming down the pike.
It’s both exciting and terrifying all at the same time.
I feel completely exhausted from all the research I’ve been doing, overwhelmed by all the so-called “possibilities” we’ve thrown around, and there is a general sense of anxiety rolling around inside me as I feel uneasy in this “unknown” realm in which we are currently residing.
I just want to take a nap and hope it all magically works itself out while I’m asleep.
And yet there is a certain peace inside me as well. One psalm that has been an especially helpful anchor for me through this season has been one my mentor pointed me to a few months ago:
~ Psalm 138:7 ~
NIV/ESV “Though I walk in the midst of trouble, you preserve my life…”
AMP “Though I walk in the midst of trouble, You will revive me…”
HCSB “If I walk into the thick of danger, You will preserve my life…”
I love the promise here: No matter how troublesome or scary or uncertain (or simply unchartered) the road ahead is, I can trust that God has me in His hands. He is holding me, He knows me, He remembers all He has invested in me… and He will not let it all go to waste.
The word translated as “preserve” or “revive” in the above Psalm is the Hebrew verb chayah (khaw-yaw’). It’s short definition is “to live”, but it brings with it a sense of sustaining life and continuing to live despite hardship, despite sickness, and even being revived from discouragement.
Despite how uncertain things may seem, I can trust that God intends to sustain me and keep alive the hopes and dreams and passions He has built in me. He hasn’t brought me this far only to leave me discouraged, alone, and without purpose or community.
Yes, we may relocate our family and leave this sweet little community we’ve put such deep roots into. Yes, God may lead my husband into an entirely different career. Yes, finances might get a bit more tight and we may attempt to buy a home and then find ourselves getting screwed by the housing market like we did our last go-round. Yes, I might have to rebuild a new network of friends and God might lead me to do something entrepreneurial and risky and completely outside my comfort zone. Everything we currently know might be vastly different for our family a year from now… BUT THROUGH IT ALL God is holding us. He is wise, He is trustworthy, He cares, and He will shape us and grow us and redeem the hard parts of our journey— no matter what.
As Jeremiah 29:11 and Philippians 1:6 remind me, God has beautiful intentions for my life— and He will see His work through to completion. He won’t forsake all He has invested in me and He will never abandon, leave or let go of me at any point on my journey.
No matter which scenario we march forward into— even if we change nothing and end up choosing to stay right where we are doing what we’ve been doing for the past several years alongside the people we’ve invested in and with whom we’ve developed deep friendship— we can trust that God’s ancient name “Emmanuel” will stand true:
Emmanuel = “God With Us”
There is a definite comfort in that truth. Knowing that regardless of which direction we choose to go we will be okay, we will be together, and God will provide for us and be with us no matter what.
There is a new song recently released on Christy Nockels’ newest album that I love. It is a simple lullaby to sing to your children during a rainstorm. Amidst the melodic sounds of rain pouring down, Christy’s young daughter sings this lyric over and over. I tear up as I cling to the beautiful truth displayed in these words:
Here I am
Look at me I’m alright
In the storm
Dancin’ to the rhythm of the rain
~ Lyrics to “Pitter Patter Goes the Rain” by Christy Nockels ~
My shaking knees calm a bit when I remember that God is with me through whatever storm I endure. I am going to be okay. He is with me.
~ Psalm 139:10 ~
Even there Your hand will lead me, And Your right hand will take hold of me.
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What about you?
What Psalm or verse or story or song brings you hope or encouragement when you feel uncertain about your future? Can you think of a story in your own life of when God has come through and provided, sustained, and/or cared for you through an especially challenging season?
Please share your journey in the comment section below.